Disjointed

Uggggh. I need to keep busy. When I am not insanely busy I am so lazy. And disjointed and I forget simple things like taking my daughter to a music lesson. It's hard to get out of my own head sometimes and I can't get anything started. I sit at the computer and get sucked into internet for hours. No seriously, like hours. Look at my facebook page at any given time and you will see my little thumbnail picture "online." I'm easily overwhelmed with the simplest of tasks. Tom came home from work tonight and I had no dinner made. Not because I was too busy. I just couldn't commit. Laundry sits in the dryer. The hall is filled with shoes. The chaos of library books and papers in the living room is overwhelming.

I've never been neat. I'm clean, but definitely not neat. I never made the bed, would leave my towel on a chair and my clothes on the bathroom floor. I look back to before we had kids and cannot believe how I would leave stuff around. Cups on the coffee table, bra on the couch (ummm, eww), and my husband's favorite... medicine cabinet wide open. Then having my babies one after the other I never felt like I could get anything done. Sweet. My perfect excuse. So now I have no excuse. Three years ago, when my house was on the market I could get that sucker spotless in under 90 minutes. And that was with a 2, 4 and 6 year old. Now I sit around while my kids are at school, jacking around on the computer, walking around Marshall's or spending way too much money at Target.

When I get projects done around the house I feel so much satisfaction. And I'm good at it. I make time to work out. But when I get into these downward spirals I have no idea where to begin. These are the ways that my depression and anxiety can sneak up and get in my way. I need a little sunshine. And a trip to Benjamin Moore.