Monday, July 30, 2012

Keep the Change

I need to make some changes:
  1. Financial Accountability: I want to track all of our spending for the month of August. I hope that this can curb my "40% off sale for cardmembers at the Gap" addiction, and other little nickel and dime ways that keep our credit card bills climbing and see if we can actually make it to the next paycheck without having to buy groceries on said Gap Visa. I would love to see if we could go one month without having to pay a credit card bill because we were careful. As ridiculous as I feel writing this, I don't think I have gone a month in the last 2 years where I didn't buy one item of clothing for myself. I never used to shop for myself and that damn Gap card has turned me into a monster.
  2. The same philosophy applies to Dollar Bins and Dollar Store goodies. Junk. All of it.
  3. I would love to add yoga to my routine. I'm too young and healthy to be as twisty and stressed as I am.
  4. I need to change my tone with my kids. It's completely fair to get frustrated and even angry with your (well, my) kids. It's the tone that has got to go. I want to make sure that I nurture and not sever my relationship with my kids. Somewhere along the line this tie unraveled in my own upbringing and I won't let that happen again.
  5. I need to stop being afraid of so many things. Eleanor Roosevelt (I think) said, "Do something that scares you every day." That's what I had to do when I went back to work. Took a deep breath and forced myself in the door. Fake it until you make it. Whatever cliche gets me through. But this crap about fearing public transportation, cities, petting zoos, dogs... knock it off and get on with it.

Friday, July 13, 2012

39 and 11/12

My 40th year. I feel like I accomplished some things that I set out to do... ran a 5K, got a job, successfully graduated a child from elementary school to name a few. But I feel like the clock is ticking so quickly and hope that while the last 10 years have flown by on the one hand... the day to day seemed pass by in a slide show of sepia moments. In the past 10 years I've moved a few times, had and raised 3 babies, got my Masters degree (3.96!!!), and made several houses homes. I've been incredibly lucky in life and love; and while other people around me have had life crushing blows I seem to be able to skate by with only a scrape here or there. Trying with all my anxiety laiden might to not sit around waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I can only hope the next 40 are as blessed as the first.