Thursday, May 26, 2011
Meghan is in her room for the second time since 4pm... this time for the night. It's 6pm. She's had it. I've had it. She had her field day in the blazing hot humid sunshine this afternoon and cannot keep it together. She is alternately screaming psychotically and begging me in the saddest voice I've ever heard for one more chance. I can't do it. Her tantrums have been tantamount lately and I know that we are at least partly to blame because she's exhausted from all the wonderful things that May has to offer. Concerts, sporting events, field trips, playing outside after dinner. Frankly, it's too much for my 5 year old. But something's got to give, and for once I stuck to my guns and made her stay up there and fiiiiiiiiiiinally at 650 she fell asleep. I'm looking forward to having the old Meghan back tomorrow. If even for a day.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
My money would be much better spent at J.Crew then ever signing up my 5 year olds' for activities. I don't know why I didn't learn my lesson with Kindergarten Daisies for Erin, or Kindergarten Basketball for Christopher.. But my biggest activity fail with the highest financial windfall (well, opposite of windfall) and emotional turmoil has been Kindergarten Lacrosse for Meghan. $40 activity fee and $75 in equipment plus shorts and cleats... throw in the bribary purchases to get her on the field, which no longer work. So many tears. Actual sobbing, not even the drama kind. Too much. And I get it. Know what activities I did in Kindergarten? Kindergarten. Half day kindergarten at that. What did I expect?
Friday, May 13, 2011
I've been having strange dreams lately. Stress dreams I think. I'm busy. We are all busy. Either you're busy with work, or you're busy with kids, or both, but everyone's busy. May is insane. Between school and activities, recitals, Communions, birthday parties, and sports. There's just not enough time. I can't help but think that there has to be a better way. For example, school concerts. There's just no way that my (and your) 4th grader is that much better at the saxophone now than she was in that confoundedly long month of March. How about we do the concerts then? And the first Communions. April? Just to take the edge off. My dream the other night was that I was at Disney and bought a huge bunch of balloons for my kids, but kept forgetting, and letting go. Then I'd go running after them, and leap super-humanly into the sky and grab some back, only to forget and let go again. It's so cliche and telling of what's going on in my day to day. And yours. I know. Life has become a laundry list. And don't even get me started on the laundry.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Today we participated in the Greater Hartford Arthritis Walk. My friend's son is this year's ambassador. He's 9 and has been suffering from an acute case of Juvenile Arthritis (JA) since he was 4, I believe. You'd never know it. He's an amazing athlete, and has been playing Travel Soccer (very competitive) since he was 7. The only way you'd know that something might be wrong is that the medicine he takes gives him terrible psoriasis and he breaks bones very easily so he's frequently in a cast. He misses quite a bit of school, but more often than not, he's there, even if he's had a treatment. Now the arthritis is in his eyes and he had to have eye surgery and have special drops put in his eyes 3 or 4 times a day. We've never done a "walk" before. But I was inspired by Ted's story and signed us up. I'm hooked. I'm easily moved. The letter they sent out made me sob. Watching my husband complete a 5K (no big deal for him) has me welling up. Not just the finish line, just watching him run. I follow several blogs and one of them is written by the wife of our school's 5th grade teacher. She's 30 and beautiful and fighting an uphill battle with Leukemia. And she was out there. Every time I looked at her, I was so moved to where I couldn't speak. Because if I did, I openly cried. Here's someone out there, fighting the battle of her life, supporting another cause. I'm moved. I'm impressed. I'm embarrassed that I don't do more. I have no excuses, I'm healthy and strong. Move it or lose it, right?
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
if i could do it again, i would be a wedding stylist, or interior designer or i wouldn't have bombed that interview with seventeen magazine back in 1996. i wanted it so bad. but i definitely wouldn't have gone to graduate school to become an elementary school teacher. to be honest i was just in it for the glory of owning one of those teacher planbooks. had i known they were readily available at the dollar store i could have saved myself a lot of time and energy. my education is dated after 10 years of stay at home mom-ness. i think it's misleading to think that teaching is great for people who want to have a family. yes. if you want to continue working full time, it's a no brainer. but you can't do it part-time, or according to your own schedule except in rare instances. or if you've been doing it for a long time and can kind of call the shots. but if i had done the design thing, or the magazine thing i could have kept a toe in the biz and still had my time at home. but who knows? if i had gotten that job at seventeen, i don't think all the bar-b-q in texas could have gotten me to walk away from that dream job and into my current life. i dunno. i do know that trying to figure out career options at 38, ok, almost 39, is not easy.