lowercase

i feel like a poseur. i remember in college when i was taking my comp 100 and comp 200 classes that i could never read anyone else's material, because it immediately tainted my thought process, and i feared that i would somehow, accidentally copy it. i've started blogging recently and am trying to find my voice. people think i'm funny. i get feedback from people i haven't seen in 15 or 20 years that tell me my facebook posts crack them up. but that's a matter of sentence fragments and thoughts that pop into my head. before i started my blog i thought, i could have a pretty decent, fairly entertaining blog, if i just had a running log of my facebook posts. also, i'm nice to people, and i care what they think. so i have this other blog persona if you will that has her own voice. when i read my friend erin's blog, which is a sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking, but always brutally honest voice, i feel like, ok, that's the voice i have running in my head. and then i start to write my stories and they feel forced and trite. that's the word i've always felt about my writing. it's C- material. i don't want to be trite. oh and then good lordy do i find these gorgeous decorating blogs where these people seem to have taken so many  pictures of what i want my home to look like. and instead of just cutting out magazine pictures, and talking about buying paint, or thinking about taking a tiling class at home depot, they do it and the results are amazing. all doable things. the last thing that has been jacking me up with this blog is that i don't use much in the way of capitalization or punctuation. i know how to. i was an english major and i also have a masters degree. but it slows me down. and to be honest i think i speak in lower case too. a modern day ee cummings. so suck it grammar, i'm not letting you slow me down anymore.